You know that your Maltese basically owns you, right?
1- Wake up in an orderly fashion every day to fill my empty bowl. I will serve as your alarm clock and reminder if you fail to do so.
2- If it lands on the floor, it’s mine.
3- Please dear human, appreciate when I alert you of noises I hear outside. I’ve saved your life hundreds of times already.
4- I can sleep anywhere I want, whether it be my bed, your bed, or in your clean basket of laundry.
5- You have to give me a nibble of every piece of food you eat… unless it is a vegetable. You can keep those.
6- Cuddle with me at least five times a day. While doing it you must tell me how cute and soft I am.
7- Leave one pair of your stinky shoes out per day for me to chew on. Stinky socks and underwear will do, too.
8- Let me inside or outside of the house at my request, no matter how many times I have asked already, I would do the same for you if I had opposable thumbs and you didn’t, okay?
9- We shall never be apart, and I will always be by your side.